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hold · my · hand

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is on tv. i have never watched so much tv in my life until the past 2 weeks. I'm living with my co-worker jen, who uses the tv as an alarm clock, something to fall asleep too and for everything else in between. i'm terrified that i may be actually enjoying some shows and will want to watch tv when i move into my own apartment. For example who knew that i would become addicted to a reality show about poor folks and rich folks living together in house together. oh the irony.

so anyway, here i am living in jung-ja, a subway stop far away from the nite life and fun times that seoul has to offer. It's easy to get into seoul but hard to get out of it since the subway ends at midnight. But maybe being stuck out here will be beneficial and offer me a different type of experience - one all about me. I guess i'm feeling a bit lonely, but not so much yet as everything is still super new and i am quite busy most of the time. I have met a bunch of people here who are really super nice, but in all honesty we would never be friends if it hadn't been for the situation.

School is SOOO HARD. i think i need to repeat that. TEACHING IS SO HARD, especially when it is to shitty little shitheads who just want to punch you in the stomach. I had 3 kids cry on me today, and all i could say was "no tears in my classroom". You gotta be tuff! and i am sooo not tuff enough. They think that i am silly and crazy and they are sooo not scared of me. Soooo they just walk all over me. Tuesday and Thursday are great teaching days though and it really is only 3 half hour classes on mon/wed/fri that make me want to run away, so i guess i shouldn't complain!


I am going to thailand in 6 weeks! i am SOO excited!!! that also means that in 6 weeks i will have jeff to crawl into bed with and have him scratch my back. I miss that soo much. mushymushyness.

god speed
Current Location:
jens living room
Nuværende humør:
bored bored
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So i'm not off to the land of kim chi just yet. I have to wait until next friday to fly, fly away.
I had a little mini scream inside my head fest when i found out (sorry j.), it's just that i really really want to go and I want to go NOW! no more of this waiting around shit. I'm not able to wait around. I'm not able to do nothing....and it's not that i'm complaining, it just really is the first time EVER that I have been job-less with nothing to do but just hang out all day.

If people want to hang out and lunch dates etc etc with me i am SO available.
(leigh-anne do we have a date tomorrow????)

i got caught in the rain today on my way home from the gym (ohhh how sad i will be to leave my little love nest that is the West End Y)and i sang in the rain and it was love.

lover

Current Location:
freezing 3rd floor
Nuværende humør:
hungry hungry
Nuværende musik:
stevie wonder
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i image googled my name, this is what i found...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

and

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Current Location:
nicoles room
Nuværende humør:
amused amused
Nuværende musik:
bathurst street
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doh. the bakery ruined my day. why do i let it ruin my life.
it just puts me in the darkest mood of awfulness that takes a lot of shaking to get rid of.
i'm supposed to meet nash et al for a movie now and i don't even want to go.

and everyone is going to savour tonight and i can't imagine interacting with people. but it's probably my last weekend here (next weekend i'm in montreal) so shouldn't i be out going crazy instead of wanting to dig myself into a hole.

i want to have fun and drink and go out dancing. dancing so hard my freckles fall off. but the wanting to not go out feeling is making me depressed.

blah. i kind of just want to kick my own ass right now.

god speed.

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it hasn't turned out to be the worst week ever (but then again it still only is wednesday). korean lessons make my brain hurt. i have lost the ability to sit in a classroom setting for 2 hours straight. actually, now i'm wondering if i ever had it. I am strangely familiar with ADD.

I started trying to pack. this is a disaster. I am only allowed (by myself) to retain 3 boxes of stuff and one bag of clothes. this is a disaster. my plan is to sort through it all, throw shit out, and then have a room sale. or a room free for all. or a big garbage pile outside my front door.

hollar.

Current Location:
jeff's room
Nuværende humør:
loved loved
Nuværende musik:
humidifier
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I feel like i'm getting ready to have the worst week of my life.

Yesterday while biking home from the gym I break the pedal off my bike and come crashing down
on College street. I'm a little shaken and tearful as I pull myself out from underneath my bike (as the streetcar sails by), and then I look across the street to see...oh yes..it could only be...the one and only exboyf that I can't get out of my head for a million and one reasons and then the tears start to run and they are just drip drip dripping from my chin.

oh the sadness.

then today I had a hissy fit at work. I was about to leave. I only have 4 more shifts left there. THANK FUCK.

let's see what happens tomorrow....

Nuværende humør:
sore sore
Nuværende musik:
rain drops
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My salmonella bout is over! yay! I'm 100% better and feeling fantastic, I'm able to go to the gym again. This makes me happy. Nothing makes me more happy than jumping up and down to bad music with 10 ladies at the Y.

I feel better about everything lately, I've rid myself of any leftover emotions (well cept for hate) from the bradley episode. I've found myself in bed with another boy, a lovely boy, and making mix cd's over and over again.

I'm leaving in about 6 weeks for a longggg loooonnnggg time (i don't want to say forever, but who knows...) starting out teaching english in korea and who knows what else...i say we all relocate to Thailand. I think that nash should move with me because how many expats live there? thousands! And they have no one to cut their hair!!!!!!!

I have to go change and run to work.
loves ya.

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